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Friday, January 22, 2010
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this is NOT the way for life to be.
Every IB kid i know is sick right now. why? because not a single one of them has slept in, oh, weeks? Because every single IB kid is stressed out of their skull and it's killing their immune system.
What kind of an educational system is this SHIT? What the FUCK? We are literally sacrificing our sanity for some fucked up little diploma.
Oh, yeah people will say "well, if that's the way you feel then you obviously can't handle it and you should take normal classes".
But NO. you dont introduce us to this program and then expect us not to follow through.
Motivated kids are motivated for complicated reasons, and they don't give up when they can help it.
Its so stupid.
I am exhausted, and sitting here slaving over MUN shit for competition tomorrow, when lo and behold i discover my partner is "sick" and not coming tomorrow (aka she had a bitch fight with some other chick on MUN and is feeling bitter), oh and she wont even send me her policy paper and research? so im...supposed to do it myself? NO. I have NOT slept this week, and i am NOT wasting myself on this. i swear to god. If it doesnt work out, i will literally ditch the stupid BYU MUN conference and roam around provo for the day. I can't do this.
I understand why some kids do drugs like no other - sometimes its the only escape you have time for?
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2 Comments:
i mean...yeah. that's pretty much how it is. we're all killing ourselves, and i'm a cranky bitch most of the time. like you said, it's not how things should be, but no one's about to quit halfway through. honestly, you have to be doing ib for yourself, otherwise all this bullshit is virtually useless. i just don't want to look back two years from now and be kicking myself because i know i'm smart enough to do it but didn't. besides, why wouldn't you take advantage of whatever opportunity comes your way? i never liked taking the easy way out of things. so hopefully all this is worth it. i'm sorry your week was shit, though. we need to talk. i have the sat this morning and midterms all next week (happy birthday, indeed), so maybe not until next weekend...? fuck. school's stressful, but i've resigned myself to that fact. people are constantly wearing me down, though. there's this stupid bitch in the IB program (who honestly shouldn't be, she's failing all of her classes because she doesn't do shit) who's going around bitching about how mean and stuck-up megi and i are. to teachers, no less! how classy. and the boy is...i don't even know what's going on there. but you know me, i've never (ever) liked a guy enough to ever take initiative, or push to hang out with them. usually i'm the one who's more detached, and who gets to be chased. now, it's so not like that. at all. and i feel like i'm grasping at straws.
i feel like junior year is really about picking and choosing who you surround yourself with. with so many people this year, i'm finding that they've lost the concept of reciprocation. why am i friends with so many takers? nothing i do seems to matter anymore, and it's a shitty feeling.
i miss you. a lot.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YOUR BIRTHDAY IS ON MONDAY!
oh my god.... i miss you too.
everythings stupid....hmmm a high point is that i picked my sister up from school last week and her teacher is SO cute.
hahaha.
ugh. i know....you would only pursue him if you really liked him. but honestly, i dont understand him? like....what is he feeling/thinking? what is even going on? I'll call you, my minutes have recharged. :).
MUN was a fucking bust. honestly, ive never come away from a competition without an award of some sort, before today.my partner fucking ditched me but i still thought id done well enough....i guess sometimes were just not lucky..
UGH
You put IB n perspective. its true- its important to not pass up this opportunity. especially because there are kids out there who would give anything to have an education like ours.
Sometimes, though...like now...i just want to ESCAPE. i kind of want to volunteer in a place where i go every day and grow to love the people and get committed to it. now i only volunteer really sporadically, and its not fulfilling.
oof
life.
:P:P
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