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Thursday, August 27, 2009
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I've written stuff about you, and I've been friendly with you, and I've flirted with you, and I've been flattered by you. But I don't trust you, and I don't like that I'm so much like you. It makes the whole subtlety to the point of awkwardness thing totally understandable...except that youre not avoiding me, im avoiding you because my friend just explicitly told me to stay away, and im not mean. So I don't know what the fuck to do, which is making me BITCHASS scared, like SO scared to even meet your eye, you have no idea. and then im scared i'll act scared directly in your presence and just look like a fool. im saying this frankly because its pissing me off...yet its making school just a bit interesting, because otherwise i would be ripping my eyeballs out every time i step through those same stupid doors ive stepped through for the past five years.
W. has officially gotten more students, which puts us at like 3000 now? its ridiculous, its literally impossible to move through the first floor hall.
anyway, I'm in that jumpy, decisive mood where i want to initiate something. but i cant because....you know why. its the same as last year, with my last dude. i was just tired of waiting for the past two years, and i wanted to do something. and i mean, i trust my gut, because i let him know, and it worked (....at first, at least...:P)
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I've been saying y'all a lot over the past few days. Just one day with your southern self and im talking like this and drinking sweet tea like crazy! :P
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Sunday, August 23, 2009
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super hot showers are niiiiice :) esp. cuz i have this really weird nerve pain in my neck...bleh.
yesterday we ran 8 miles....definitely the longest ive ever run was 5, with soccer. it took tons of will power to keep moving, especially going uphill.. my muscles went numb about halfway through, which was helpful :D:D. anyway the captains planned the run to end at jamba juice and we were all psyched...then we got there and jamba juice was closed!! hahahahahahaha
since i cant comment you yet ill do it here. aree you missing caleb yet? :P how was your first day of class too?!!?!
today i am driving my family to the mayan for dinner, and then we are going to the temple for some festival. were going to look funny in the mayan in our garb. lol i better not see some douchebag from school. fucking school.
im a better driver without my dad lecturing me, or my mom in the backseat acting like were all about to die at any moment.
i would be looking at my html book if i werent finding better things to do (ermm....watching house and gilmore girls and....harry potter...not reading c and p which i need to finish in two days...)
lol jk...ill try.
byebye
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009
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I hate school. I HATE school, and i really don't want to go back. like i dont know if its because i ate too much captain crunch for breakfast, but just thinking about going back to school makes me want to vomit.
1. most classes are full of douche bags and the minority are people you like or your friends
2. school is full of jackasses
3. school is full of heirarchy
4. girls soccer as a rule hates cross country
5. my seniors from last year graduated and im really sad...i looked back at my yearbook entries and felt very empty and very sick.
6. the food....well i mean the healthiest option that actually is EDIBLE is pizza (theyve upgraded from 5abuck to dominoes :O) and tis not exactly healthy on a daily basis. also i always either forget lunch money or forget/dont have time to pack a lunch, so ive become quite a mooch after four years in west
7. the reason im so dreading going back is....ive already been here four years, im supposed to have graduated
8. the cliques, the posers, the people who have nothing better to do than cause drama and talk behind peoples backs
9. the loads of homework that i am not going to give a shit about....like give me three weeks tops and i will stop trying
10. except not really because anything less than an A- equals punishment, yells, and worse from my parents
11. the "inbred" swapping daters
12. the "inbred" swapping daters who think i need a boyfriend
13. my parents bitching about extra curriculars cutting into homework time
14. the racist against asians physics teacher?
15. FUCK SCHOOL
16. p.s. i tried your list format hehe :) tis quite effective.
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Friday, August 07, 2009
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Today is my sister's last day of summer camp. A few weeks ago, i heard her talking to my parents about some girl who didn't let her play in her 'club'....you know how little kids do that. so i went over to go talk to her about that, and i heard her and my parents sounding really agitated about it so i asked what exactly the girl had said to kajal. Kajal said "She told me i couldn't be in her club, because no brown kids are allowed." Obviously, i was like "WHAT??" i flipped a bitch right there and my parents actually had the gall to say "what, its just a little kid thing, whatever, dont make such a big thing of it, its just what little kids here do." It reminds me of the movie The Namesake, which is about an immigrant Bengali family...one day they come home from vacation and their mailbox has been graffitied with 'gangrene'...i dont know how exactly that is a cultural or racial insult, but the kids in the family knew it was and told their parents and their parents responded with 'What? that's just some kids having fun!'.
It makes me so angrry that my parents' only serious effort to fully assimilate is to....lay down before racial insults? Absolutely ridiculous
So i kept talking to Kajal about how that was just not acceptable, and the next time the little bitch said something like that to her she had to tell her counselors about it....This had happened TWICE already, and my parents knew about it, and sat on their fat asses failing to do anything but vocally object to the fact that 'im turning into such a lazy good for nothing typical American teenager' because i hang out too much. Anyway, when i tried to tell Kajal that stuff in front of them, they yelled at me. so i took her aside into my room, and told her to tell her counselors the next time it happened. then i told her she was beautiful, and everyone is completely equal yadda yadda and i told her the next time that little bitch (Chloe is her name) said something like that to her she should tell ME, so that i can go push her sorry little bitch ass off the monkey bars and then yell at her posh, retarded, two-hundred and fifty dollars a week-paying rowland hall summer camp mother. i HATE bitchy little girls.
In other news the cousin that i thought was gay is getting married....hehe. when we went to india over spring break, his mom was talking to me about arranging a marriage for him, so im really glad he beat them to it! She's Bengali, and i hope she's cool because he's handsome, and so smart. He just finished his phD in microbiology and is trying to get a visa to the U.S. I think its really cool because hes been obsessed with animals ever since he was like three years old. he was one of those little kids who could name the exact specie of every living thing around him, especially the weird ones.
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