- kizzie. - Monday, January 30, 2006

I lost it.
What?
My sweatshirt. i left it at the field.
Uh your parents are sorta strict about that stuff aren't they?
Oh yeah. I'm pretty screwed.
Well, good luck with them.
Sure.

I lost it.
What
My card.
You didn't!
It was in my sweatshirt pocket
You are so screwed.
I know.
Well, Good luck.
Sure.

I lost it.
What?
My pencil case and pencils.
Well, at least those are cheap.
Um...
Oh............sorry.
Yeah, well......
Good Luck.
Sure.

I lost it.
Should I ask?
Myself.
What?
Myself. I can't remember who I am.
Dramatic, aren't you.
Who are you?
Melodramatic aren't you?
What are you wearing?
A shirt.
It's tight.
It's cool.
Who are you.
Shut up.
Who are you?
Shut up.
Who am i?
God.
I lost it.
God.
Am I?
Good Luck.
Goddess.
Good luck.
Sure.
Any time.

- - Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Today we did the yearbook choices thingy like where you choose people for best hair, best personality etc. I got chosen quite a bit for best puppy dog eyes because they all think my eyes are just so beautiful ;) .......lol. and i also got chosen for outstanding hair. and that is because my hair is the only breath of fresh air among all those boring trend following styles. i brush my hair approximately once a week................=)
Lmao i am so pathetic lol.
he he he ....
and it also makes me see how ......SCARED everybody else is to break away from society. ALL the girls have hair just below their shoulders and layered side bangs ALL the girls wear tight jeans and tight sweaters and they ALL brush (and wash) their hair more than i do. well im jk about the washing part. im not that gross.=) . and the boys all wear their baggy crap and have shags.

- ah -

Happy Birthday Ruthie!

Happy birthday to you
you live in a shoe
you smell like a sock
and ya look like one too.

JK!

- grrr....I try too hard to rhyme stuff - Sunday, January 22, 2006

Do you know me?

I do not know.

Do you see me?

Or does our distance grow?

When I tell you.

Is it the truth?

Am I masking

What is uncouth?

Am I lying?

Day in and out.

Do you wish you

Could just figure it out?


So do I, my friend.

For I speak no truths.

And at my end

It will never change.

For I do not

Leave open my pages

For prying eyes, oh not

People of all ages.

I lie to you, my dear dear friend

Because I guard you from the horrors

What would I be without you?

Nothing.



I must keep alive my spirit.

I must challenge my mind

I must hide from you

The truth

It you never must find

I love you so

I hurt inside

To show you my totally

False side.

For when you talk to me

It is often me

Posing as another.

I could not stand to lose you

I MUST, you see, I MUST

My dear dear friend

It just cannot end

I speak no truths

I speak no evil

I hear no lies


Speak your heart?




So do you know me?

Do you think you do?

Or do I often

Lie to you?

- I don't expect you to comprehend my bad and messed up writing. -

she looked up into her face. smooth as water, long and serene, with bright blue eyes glaring out at her.
"Why? Why do you want me? What can I do for you? I have no powers. I have no strengths. I have nothing."
You lie!" she said very softly. She closed her eyes. "You have a power that no other human being posesses."
Marcona snorted. "Right. and what might that power be?"
There was a little pause. Marcona heard the water gurgling slowly through the winding stone-banked river that wound through the back of tusila's haven. It was a slow, smooth, meditative sound. calming. relaxing. soothing.
Tusila opened her eyes very slowly and tightened her grip upon her gold mace.
"The power to help me" she whispered finally, a soft, caressing tone in her silky voice. She took three long strides towards Marcona, her blue robes billowing out behind her, rippling like the ocean waves. "Marcona, do you never wonder how I have always known your name? Before the day we first met, I knew of your name. In fact, I knew everything about you. Do you never wonder?"
The slow gurgling of the river that filled her brain became softer, temporarily.
"Everything about me? Sorry, but I don't find that very credible. As for my name, well, it takes no magician to shove it out of me. I told it to you the first time I met you, I remember." Marcona laughed scornfully.

"Do not lie, girl!" Tusila shreiked. Then in a softer voice, she said, "Ah. But I recognize that defiance. That scornful voice. That spite. Yes, yes. I know those qualities as well as I know myself." Her thin lips curled into a sneer. "Watch."
She raised her golden mace in the air, and with a graceful twitch , slammed the mace onto the ground. the room was immediately filled with a blinding blue light, which was amplified as it reflected off of the river and blue gems that encrusted every wall of the chamber. from the tip of Tusila's maize erupted a silvery figure. A small, blond girl with fiery blue eyes and a defiant stance hovered above the maize.It was Marcona, two years back. Another silvery figure erupted from the tip of the mace - a short, bony, woman in a black skirt suit. She was pale and tired looking, with listless yellow hair pulled into a bun, and thin, lined lips smothered in bright red lipstick. She wore wire rimmed ovular glasses, and a small golden pin attached to her collar that said: VICE PRINCIPLE
Linda Hanglen

"Marcona, what were you -
"I swear I didn't do it!" Marcona had cried, little sparks of fury flying from each little hair end.
"Marcona don't even..." the vice principal grumbled. "This is the last time. It has happened time and again, and this time" the woman attempted to pull her face into an ' I'm sorry but it's going to have to be this way' look, failed, and resorted to looking at Marcona with forlorn yet menacing pleasure through her small black eyes. "and this time, I'm going to have to take action." She slowly advanced on Marcona.
Step by step, her eyes bulging slightly.
Step by step, until she could see the tiny beads of moisture atop Linda Hanglen's thin upper lip. And step by step her anger grew.
It burned. It boiled. It frothed and steamed and raged. Little rivulets of steam drifted up to her eyes, and turned them black-bluE, and with rage she eyed the evil, ugly old hag before her. Anger frothed and flowed through her shoulders, up her arms, to her hands, and the woman's bony throat, by the force of the angry heat, flew straight into Marcona's burning hands, but then, the throat had vanished.
Her angry waves crashed back into her soul, knocking her neatly off her little feet onto the hard stone floor.....stone? the office floor was that awful froot loopy-ish carpet, not stone.....Marcona glanced into Hanglen's beady black eyes in surprise only to find....
that they had turned blue. bright blue. fiery blue. oddly familiar blue.
"Who are you?"

A pause. Water gurgling. Slow, smooth, soothing, relaxing, calming...

"Dear, dear Marcona. It has been long. So long. Too long."

and she flicked the mace, diminishing all hovering pictures, as Marcona looked up at her. In utter bewilderment, still. So you knew my name. Oh joy, you're a stalker too.


Look at me, my child, do you not see?
We are one and the same
We share heart
We share Soul

We share all but name.

Look at me child, do not you see?
I am you
Your past
I am you
Your present
I am you
Your future.
And you are me.

Look at me, child, do you not see?
I share passage to your soul
Your mind, and your heart
I share passage to your every part.

Look at me child, do you not see?
Do you not see now
How you are my key?
The key to my past
The key to my mind
The key to my life
Just waiting to unwind

Look at me, child, do you not see?
You show me the way
I can fall and not pray.

I learn from your mistakes and not my own.
For you are none other than my clone.

- -

since ruthie is too lazy to do her own b-day countdown.

3 days till your birthday!

- -

every vegetarian saves the lives of 95 animals each year!

peta2.com

- - Saturday, January 21, 2006

You see it the most in highschool

where everybody dresses the same talks the same walks the same thinks the same acts the same......

and it leaves you to wonder

WHERE DID ALL THE (AWESOME) FREAKS GO!

- - Monday, January 16, 2006

its my parents.

they think everything i want to do with my life is a bunch of useless cow poo and everything they want me to do is exactly what i should do. simply put, that is. ha.

That's why i can't find myself within my life ruthie. My parents are trying to control my life. But not to worry. I'm staying strong.



And YOU. My voldemort. If you rub it in my face, I'm going to kick your ass to hell. I am not even kidding. so shut your beautiful face and "angel mouth".

I LOVE MY LIFE! i had sooooo mcuh fun at the soccer tournament in St. George this weekend. I was on a totally awesome soccer high! I t was AWESOME!

i got to see him play soccer too. he's pretty good. hmmmm...

I missed you all
I love you all
I want to cry
But I'm laughing my life away.

Its all just the way it's supposed to be.

oh yeahh and now my hot cousin has started emailing me. SHUT UP. he's 23. i told you to shut up. =)

- blah - Wednesday, January 11, 2006

My favorite.....


Sights:
Tom felton
Wilderness untouched by humans
Soccer
Water
voldemort


Smells:
Sharpies
Whiteout
Gasoline
India
Coffee
Anything burning


Sounds:
A car door opening
Rivers
The sound a soccer ball makes when making a satisfyingly good shot
A lion's roar


Tastes:
Chocolate
Potatoes
Cooked spinach
indian milk


Touches (?):
glazed wood
pillows
dogs
rats
a baby's skin
human hair

fill this out for yourself in the comment box.

- - Monday, January 09, 2006

Every time I plunge into its mysterious and inviting depths, I meet a wall of solid ice.







What is my life?




When i am frustrated, sad, or just worn out, i cry.

why?



I am not one person. I don't know who I am. Every time I get closer to finding myself, all my clues slip away.


And?



I don't want to be just your normal, average, human being. I want to stand out. I want to have a voice. I want to make a difference.


Then go make a difference.




I try. I try hard. I try all the time. But as I reach, It flies higher.

What is It?



My dreams. My hopes. My wishes. My life.



You have a life. A wonderful life, compared to so many other people.

I know! But, every time i try to discover myself within my wonderful life........i can't.

Every time I plunge into it's mysterious and inviting depths, I meet a wall of solid ice.

what is my life?





- I AM SO STUPID! - Sunday, January 08, 2006

you were a rush of beauty washing over me

i never really saw

until that day when the melody of the soul

left your angel mouth



the sound of rain

the sound of wind

the sound of peace

the sound of war

Happiness and human woes

beauty, that's what it was.



Your magical world

filled my worn mind and soul

and lifted me off the chair

for a moment i was light as air

strong as water

delicate as a snowflake

nimble as a mouse

fierce as a lion.



For a moment i was

yours to love

all that filled your eyes

a pretty little dove.

the only one.



For a moment i thought it could be real.

But never were you meant

for scrutiny

for jokes

for something you would never want

or to be someone you would never be.



And come to think of it, neither was I.

- - Friday, January 06, 2006

He speaks
He listens more.

He listens
He laughs more.

He laughs
He loves more.





He speaks and laughs with amazing ease

He has the face of an angel - as beautiful as can be

His mind is quick

His voice is warm

He is casual

Calm

Yet a valiant fighter.

He is loud

Outgoing

Yet a quiet, warm personality.

He.

Is

The.

One.




and yet, he doesn't exist.










or maybe he does......;)

Bzzzzzz

I need sleep, coffee, and a run.

OPEN YOUR EYES

Let people into your life :)

LINKS

Just kidding

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