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Tuesday, March 14, 2006
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Time...........o god it passes so fast.
This year has gone twice as fast as the last.
Half the drama
Half the love
Half the eyes
Half the heart
And it takes half as long
Twice the tears
Twice the lies
Twice the secrets
Twice the fears
And it goes twice as fast.
I dunno you cant exactly savor moments in the hustle and bustle of school. then its off to trax where you mold into the crowd and become the moving mass of hurry and wound up children working off their nerves. Then its off to soccer practice. Fun and work of your nervous energy. Then shower, dinner, homework, drop dead with exhaustion upon your bed, wake up the next day and repeat.
Hurry through your life.
When you have a free moment, you wallow in a pit of boredom.
Then your parents torment you, you fight with your friends, you feel like your just this burning center of conflict.
Cry your eyes out and worry how you're gonna look to your crush the next morning.
Feel your every move is magnified through a loud speaker when it's actually being minimized.....sometimes you're not even sure what's going on any more.
When you start feeling things fall apart you try to blend in with the crowd. And then when you try to fight what you have done to yourself you are shoved back down.
And when you find that a person you loved cant live up to what you want but it isnt their fault
you just want to die.
And if you were to try to let it all out
Everything would only become worse.
Let it out.
There is so much tension in this time
That when you try to smooth it over
You are forced to lie....
Like, you know the truth hurts.
So often it is better to lie.
So you get into a habit
But you are smart with your lies and you know how to plan them out according to time and events.......
And the guilt ALWAYS washes away..
But still, still, you feel that thing inside....
Even though she shuts up soon enough.
And then you think: What would I do? What the hell would I do if they all found out what is really going on in my life?
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20 Comments:
uigh.
i problydont know her tho....
what is her first name?
i dont wanna put my city up here in case stalkers....
Kam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are pretty, but I didn't know you cared! (see line 22 of your poem.) OH! btw, Henry was singing- I'm a big kid now. I wear pullups!- in art!!!!!!
dear, that wasnt me caring about my pretty-ness, that poem is about teenagers in general, with a bit of me especially dabbled in at the end.
isn't it funny how when everyone else is JUST experienceing all the tears and the drama, I'm not? I swear I am like 3 years ahead of you guys on the maturity thing cause this all happened to me in 4th-6th grade! SCARY!!o_0 honey, the trick is to just stop in the middle of ANYTHING, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, and close your eyes and just BREATHE. it is your small shred of serenity in the midst of all your chaos. beautiful, isn't it?
honey, go ahead and fall apart. WHO FRICKIN CARES. fall apart like I did at my going away party. god, if I had kept my feelings bottled up for one more moment, I woulda ended up in jail for what I did to my BFFs!! people will judge you, sure, but just ask them: so you're telling me you've never done this ever in your life before, you stinkin liar?? HUH???? YOU WANNA BRING IT?? YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE???
NEVER be afraid to cry
ha! sometimes I laugh so hard I cry. ironic, I know.
laugh as much as you cry and everything will be okay. that is why you don't see me letting these stupid teenager=type things getting to me anymore. If I had a nickel for everytime someone mocked me for being chinese in a dya, I'd be the female Bill Gates.
anyhow, just let the good times outweigh the bad and trust me, you will be MUCH happier that way, honey.
okay.
tata.
say goodbye to my inner philosophical 40-year old.
and don't DARE tell me to be a shrink.
cuz see, I like helping my friends, but I'd probably get so sick of my client's problems that I would just explode and be like "GET OVER IT YOU IDIOT!!!! RARARARARAR!!!!!! YOU ARE A SELF CENTERED LITTLE NINCOMPOOP THAT IS SO WRAPPED UP IN YOUR OWN DANG PROBLEMS THAT YOU HAVE NO TIME FOR ANYTHING ELSE EXCEPT TO COMPLAIN!! SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH AND GET THE FRICK OVER IT!!!!!"
oh god. can you just IMAGINE me doing that.
isn't it funny how when everyone else is JUST experienceing all the tears and the drama, I'm not? I swear I am like 3 years ahead of you guys on the maturity thing cause this all happened to me in 4th-6th grade! SCARY!!o_0 honey, the trick is to just stop in the middle of ANYTHING, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, and close your eyes and just BREATHE. it is your small shred of serenity in the midst of all your chaos. beautiful, isn't it?
honey, go ahead and fall apart. WHO FRICKIN CARES. fall apart like I did at my going away party. god, if I had kept my feelings bottled up for one more moment, I woulda ended up in jail for what I did to my BFFs!! people will judge you, sure, but just ask them: so you're telling me you've never done this ever in your life before, you stinkin liar?? HUH???? YOU WANNA BRING IT?? YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE???
NEVER be afraid to cry
ha! sometimes I laugh so hard I cry. ironic, I know.
laugh as much as you cry and everything will be okay. that is why you don't see me letting these stupid teenager=type things getting to me anymore. If I had a nickel for everytime someone mocked me for being chinese in a dya, I'd be the female Bill Gates.
anyhow, just let the good times outweigh the bad and trust me, you will be MUCH happier that way, honey.
okay.
tata.
say goodbye to my inner philosophical 40-year old.
and don't DARE tell me to be a shrink.
cuz see, I like helping my friends, but I'd probably get so sick of my client's problems that I would just explode and be like "GET OVER IT YOU IDIOT!!!! RARARARARAR!!!!!! YOU ARE A SELF CENTERED LITTLE NINCOMPOOP THAT IS SO WRAPPED UP IN YOUR OWN DANG PROBLEMS THAT YOU HAVE NO TIME FOR ANYTHING ELSE EXCEPT TO COMPLAIN!! SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH AND GET THE FRICK OVER IT!!!!!"
oh god. can you just IMAGINE me doing that.
LOL i can imagine that quite clearly ;)
but the thing is, you cry in school then you get a runny nose and no tissues, everybody asks you waht is wrong and gets annoying, and what if none of youR GOOD friends is there to ward people off and comfort you?
to cry in oublic you sorta hafta time it right.
what? huh? i so did not just get that
ahhhh rite. no stalkers. good plan. she lives in slc but anywho!
lol, yes. read her blog.
how the heckell did you know i live in slc
;)
other post...?
that does not make him an idiot...*cough*
:)
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ha! YET....
rrrrrAWR!!!!!!
mmhmm... ill keep that in mind then, shall i?
;^)
angie quit yer sulking and either
1.tell me whats wrong
or
2. don't tell me whats wrong but get over it anyways.
your pick
I'm sorry, hon. vent it out if you need to. and don't EVER, EVER EVER EVER EVER I cannot stress how much you need to not let ppl get to you!!!
you're great. you're the best. go eat some chocolate, sweetie.
I'm sorry but i feel like shit.
eh?
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