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Sunday, February 12, 2006
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Why do I feel like this?
It really gets painful.
Trapped inside my head.
I really want to find out, because what if its me?
But on the other hand, i don't want to know - what if it isn't me?
I think i would die.
I have taken this to a whole new level.
It isn't good.
I feel i could break down crying.
It was so much easier when i didn't.........
Tears won't come out.
I'm not even into the same things, but for one or two aspects.
I don't want to know.
What the heck would she think if i asked her?
I don't know her as well as others do
But i know the good side of her.
Becuase i am at least 70% thinking it isn't me
But 90% hoping it is.....
Where did the other ten percent go?
Maybe I feel the apprehension.
Maybe i know it wouldn't be right.
Maybe the contreversy that surrounds it.
Is not going to make life light.
If my parents knew anything
even if they knew about this blog
I'd be dead.
The 10% is my knowledge of the unknown.
Unknown.
Really?
Because how much do i know in the first place?
My glass shatters beneath pressure
My soul pours out onto the carpet
And there it stains
Not only my life
But yours.
Why must my glass
be so breakable?
Why must my soul
Not contain itself?
I don't defy laws of nature
Much less gravity.
What happened to me
Since the last time
P.E. - dodgeball
He said " No, you aren't out"
I said two words back "I'm not?"
Idiot that i was.
But that memory comforts me.
I have basis for my thoughts.
I have other memories too.
They shall help me along.
I want to strengthen my glass
It has been fragile for too long.
How do i?
Do you know?
Can you help?
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27 Comments:
I'M ON PILGER'S SOCCER TEAM! I KNOW HER WELL ENOUGH TO CONFIDE ANYTHING!
huh.
I think I can take the duct tape off of your mouth now.
go talk to him, for gods sake!!!
lordy,lordy,lordy....*sighs and shakes head*
well not actually ANYTHING but most things at least.
If i ask HIM who he likes, he will get suspicious!
pilger doesn't have to ask, she already knows.
hmmmmmm.
you ppls are....slow sometimes. kams, the only reason you are asking him is becuz you WANT TO KNOW WHO THE FLIPPIN HECK HE LIKES.
if he likes anyone at all, I mean.
he does.
i dont wanna know tho, becuase what if my hopes get crushed?
*sigh*
i am way in over my head.
argh.
you never know unless you try.
honey, I don't think you've realized how much I've matured yet. this is a mid-40's person's mind in a teenagers body.
I've failed SO many times since I got here. probably because standards are much higher than in utah.
but if you fail, if he doesn't like you back, thats okay. that doesn't mean you have to stop liking him. it means he doesn't realize how much he is losing when he says he doesn't like you. yes, I know its embarrassing and you'd probably feel like total shit if he said no, but STILL. if you really reallly feel like shit, I'm always here to talk. I'll always have a shoulder for you to cry on, an ear for you to vent on. kams, love is everlasting. you NEVER, EVER run out of love. just remember that.
I'd try it, but I've realized: I'm not technically in love with the boys, I'm sorta in love with the fact of being in love, if you get my drift.
but he's still hott ;) *nudgenudgewinkywinky*
ha!
and now I'm back to being a teengaer again.
=) =) =) =)
i luv ya.
but i am not asking him.
you rock ruthie
DON'T ASK! AHH! DON'T BE STUPID! PLEEEEE-AAAAASE, I don't want to read your depression posts after you ask. What if it's YES? NO? Just... Don't. Don't get people to ask... just... let it go.... lol...
uh huh. nice to see how supportive friends you have, eh, kamala?
well. I do SUPPOSE they both have point, though. obviously. but what I would do (and this is ME mind you) is just march right up to him and ask him. I told you I got that guy to crack.
but, honey, just close your eyes and let your gut instinct tell you, and keep in mind all the inpu me and tals and angie have given you. thats all you can do at this point.
well, maybe except TALK TO HIM but I don't suppose you're going to do that, eh???*grins evilly*
hmph. I promise i will in PE okay? i'll start easy with just a hi, how are you or something.
or, kamala, instead of saying hi, you could march right up to him for moi and pin his pants up for me. *smirks*
either way, I mean.
NO!
lol!
lol
Just talk to this guy like he's a person... and see where it takes you.
yah, if she would even talk to him in the 1st place!
;)
whatev
you butthole. what is wrong? when you're with your friends you just yak away like your insane kamala self but then all of a sudden you can't even talk to a guy you like?!?!?! WHAT THE CRAP?! I talk to guys I like! maybe its foreshadowing of complications in your relationship w/ him later on from LACK OF COMMUNICATION.
*sigh*
whatEVER!
besides, i'd rather HAVE FUN WITH IT *hint hiint*
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
yes, i deleted that last one, if you didn't mind. he he he. er...
aye? lol
SCHMOOPIE??!?!?
I like.
cool.
schmoopsy duh
lol shmoopie choopie moopie!!
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