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- Black Swan -
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Sunday, December 26, 2010
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This has been one of the weirder days I've had. It feels completely off; like i just want to sleep it off and wake up to a new day because everything feels wrong.
Tori and I took Mosey for a walk, and we literally ran into a dead deer lying on the side of the road, half open, completely disgusting. Then my socks got completely soaked through the holes in my boots. Eric didn't answer my last text. He literally never doesn't answer, and I'm worrying because he has been taking a long time and giving really abrupt answers with other things; second thoughts from the other side? would be like the story of my life.
There was horrible weird tension between Tori and I today. Sometimes when we hang out it starts like that but it thaws within like twenty minutes tops. Today it stayed weird. She was acting completely off-kilter. Her mind was elsewhere. I felt inadequate. There was a weird touchiness and tension and almost competitive edge between us.
Then we watched Black Swan and that movie is.. brilliant but completely wack, and it fucked me up.
More tension driving her back home.
On my way to my house, my car started randomly swerving. So I pulled over but nothing was wrong with the wheels. It kept happening, but more subtly.
The stars are out but I'm sitting here freezing and exhausted. My eyes feel so gritty from lack of sleep. My body is constantly starving. I just want to sleep into a new day, where everything will be good again.
I don't like this day. Not one bit.
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