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Saturday, January 07, 2012
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Tired delirium, and I'm feeling lost and inadequate. Nothing I do at home is ever good enough, but who holds the purse strings here anyway?
I can't be honest with my family, and so our relationships have disintegrated... Or at least, every day it becomes more visible.
I love my little sister and I've loved growing much closer to her over break. I will miss her so much.
I need to start and finish some sort of project with implications and completely propelled by self-motivation; because I feel at a loss as to what I am going to do this summer, this coming semester, the rest of my life.
A ton of the things I want to apply to for this summer (REU positions, for instance) require letters of recommendation from faculty members who 'know me well'.
Ok, so this isn't fucking high school. Most of my classes were in giant lecture halls where my professor sure as hell didn't know I existed as an individual, no matter how well I performed in their class. Not so sure if that will even change come next year's application deadlines. And I feel like a right fool asking, anyway...
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